The pastor who was preaching when I was saved once told this story. I was in a car accident that was totally my fault. The man from the other car came running at me cursing and ready to fight. I immediately said I am so sorry that was my fault is everyone in your car okay. The pastor said as quick as the words left my mouth his demeanor changed. He stopped cursing lowered his stature and responded in a softer tone saying yes we are fine what about you.
I learned a long time ago that my children learned their lessons better when they were taught with composure. This is not to say I spared the rod but that I didn't spank in anger. This was not the case when I first became a parent, but instead as I grew in Christ and parenthood. They would receive their spanking along with a talk explaining that I loved them and what they did wrong and how to correct it. Composure is always the Godly way to act. Composure doesn't mean there can be no emotion but that the emotion doesn't control the action. It was the emotion of sorrow that my pastor spoke but it didn't cause Him to cover and run. He stood strong in the face of attack while in composure showing his sorrow.
Our scripture text says,
Ecclesiastes 10:4 If the ruler’s temper rises against you, do not abandon your position, because composure allays great offenses.
It speaks of standing firm in your position but in humility which is composure. Not in your emotion. You can still have the emotion but it should not dictate your actions. God and His Spiritual guidance should be the dictator of your actions. Spanking my children showed them the consequences of their wrong. The composed discussion reassured the unfailing love and the correction to their wrong.
Love Bro. Scott